It's Hard to Live in the City.

One might freak out at the sight of my blog title. Am I ready to run the other direction back to Penang? No, I'm not. In fact, I am quite enjoying the new experience. It's refreshing to live in someone else's life . It doesn't feel like I want to live the rest of my life here but I'm okay now. My only grip is staying with someone because I'm pretty much independent all the time and I really don't like giving people a lot of problems or inconvenience. Staying with friends I feel like I am constantly being an inconvenience to their lives as well as the people around them. Sucks but currently I have no choice. To look on the bright side, I will be having a lot of me time from May onwards. Moving to my own space in Admiralty soon! I actually wanted to elaborate more about Lion City but let's leave that for another day.  

I have arrived...in Lion City.

The reality hasn't really sank in. All of it is still pretty much foreign to me and I don't want to expect too much but I don't want to worry too much either.

I guess I'm a little bit excited, a little bit terrified. Little bit unsure but ready to live a new experience.

Going to take a huge leap of faith, both feet in the water! Here's to a new life!

Life...is like a kaleidoscope roller coaster.

That's what I'm feeling right now. You go through each and every up and down bursting with different patterns and colors that you don't know what to expect.  You turn the corner thinking that you will go up a 360 degree loop only to discover that hey, its a twist after all. So interesting but so frightening. So unexpected but that's where all the fun is.

One chance...

All that I'm asking is for one chance, one person to give me that opportunity. To get me out of this abyss which I myself had willingly dropped in. What should I do to get myself out?

Starlight, star bright.

Not the first star I've seen at night. But surely the brightest star of my life.

Wishing for a simpler life

Sometimes I wish that I could live a simpler life. Get married, have kids, have a mediocre job. Sometimes I wish I could do more. See the world, live a successful life without any monetary worries. Buy whatever I want, provide some comfort to my family. But how can I do that without having to work on my career? 

I think I should push and work hard now, when I am still young and full of hope for the future. I might lose that in the long run, and when that happens, I hope that I will have enough money, enough investments and hopefully a business or two. I would like to get the MBA and PhD that I've always wanted, open up a little restaurant. Maybe a little guesthouse of my own. I would like to go star viewing in Alaska, as well as to see the Aurora. I would like to roam New York City, to backpack to Europe. I have so many aspirations but I don't know if I am able to fulfill all of them without having to let some go.

I want to stop thinking so much, to stop worrying about the future. I've been thinking about Chun and I, about how the both of us will have trouble in deciding on a place to settle down. He's into construction and I'm into hospitality. His career involves being in rural places and as for me,  blooming towns and cities. It's a bit frustrating but I guess its fine by both of us, to mutually agree that we work hard for now towards our goals. I might be able to let go of the career ladder one day, and he might be able to follow me wherever I go. But right now, we are where we are. Somehow, it doesn't feel wrong. It feels the way it should be. It's better this way, to allow both of us to chase our dreams and to hopefully we will be able to go back to each other at the end of the day and find a home within.

I think that I will, perhaps one day...try to live a simpler life.

Ungrateful

Men can be so ungrateful. Especially once they've grown big and strong, they leave you to look for greener pastures. 

I'm one of those ungrateful men.